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Maria's Blog

 As winter drags on…

 

Is anyone feeling the blues? I was thinking to myself that maybe I’ve come down with the Baby Blues. You know, they say you can get those even months after the baby is born. I was feeling fairly good, maybe it’s finally come to nip me in the butt.

 

Then one day I hear on the radio that there is an increased percentage of people coming in with depression lately…Hmmm, I wonder as I look out the window at the huge drifts of snow that still cover everything…and then at the calendar where it seems that we are already in the middle of APRIL! Yes, April!

 

So maybe those days were I feel like a zombie and am bored to DEATH even though there are things I could do, doesn’t have anything to do with having had a baby 4 months ago. Heck, I think even Emma gets bored! I feel like I’ve watched every single show on tv, I’m tired of watching food documentaries, the floor doesn’t really need vacuuming yet, I don’t wanna do the dishes because then Emma will wake up, I don’t want to clean the bathroom because she’s already been asleep for an hour and she’ll likely wake up when I’m midway through the toilet, and I’d feel like a truly lazy ass if I sat down to read a book at 11:30 in the morning. Well, I suppose I could write a blog, but my brain feels practically dead. Or I could sew the border on that baby blanket that’s been needing fixing for a while, but I just don’t feel like it. Maybe I should fold some laundry, but it’s in the dryer and not bothering anybody and I really don’t feel like doing that either. Maybe I should do some dishes so Emma will wake up…

 

By the time Wayne comes home, I feel like there’s huge circles under my eyes, I’m cranky and Emma’s cranky and I’m still not totally sure what to make for supper. How pleasant. So then I feel even crankier because I’m feeling guilty for not feeling at least a little cheerier.

 

So Wayne takes Emma and sends me out for a walk. I pull my jacket and rubber boots on, step outside and…take a deep breath of fresh, clean, crisp air! Ahhh…as I’m walking I can actually FEEL my brain air out!

 

And a half hour later, I know it’s just the winter dragging on my nerves. Feeling much refreshed and having slightly refilled my positive energy tank I ponder on the simple beauties and pleasures in life…and I do this on purpose because I know it will keep the zombie feeling at bay for a little longer. But I have to focus on simple things that are great right now…not things that would be great if it wasn’t winter anymore, because otherwise it doesn’t work.

 

The simple pleasures like the perfectly warm, soft, coziness of my bed; the roar of the furnace coming on keeping the chill out; the smell of baking bread in the oven. The simple beauties like the soft, fluffy hair on Emma’s head; the cozy look of Emma’s crib, the warm color of the wood and the bright colors of her blankets; my bright green impatiens plants under the window in the spare room; the sight of Wayne reading with Millie the dog curled up on his legs…

 

Ya…I feel better already…but I still can’t wait for spring!

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